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Monday, August 23, 2010

Honoring the Dead by Living

My mom and me, Christmas 1966.

(First, a technical note: my internet provider is having major problems. There have been times this past week when I was unable to get on the internet. Add to that my film editing project and I'm behind on...too much!)

This month has been a strong sober reminder to me to live my life every day. First, a 24-year-old co-worker of my boyfriend's, a Type A diabetic, died of complications of his disease. Then, a long term (almost 40 years) friend died from a brain tumor at 81. Then a friend I'd lost touch with died at 57 in a car accident--mutual friends let me know via Facebook.

Finally, yesterday would have been my mom's 90th birthday. She's been gone for almost 20 years. To me, they all died too soon.

What have I been reminded? That we'll never have enough time for life. Life can end at any moment. Yes, it's a cliche to carpe diem, because it's true, if we don't seize the day, we come to the end of our lives with nothing.

I'm going to try to celebrate every moment I can, even the most painful ones, for without the grief, where's the contrasting joy?


18 comments:

Jennifer Shirk said...

That's true. The highs AND lows are what life is all about.

Alyssa Ast said...

First, let me say I am sorry for your losses.

Secondly, you are 100% correct. My family lost a good friend about 3 months ago in a motocycle accident. He was perfectly healthy and in his early 50's. It is a very harsh reminder that life can be taken away from us all to quickly. It's important to live each day to the fullest becaue you never know when it may be your last.

Ann Best said...

This is exactly what we have to do, life well each day, especially reaching out to loved ones and friends around us. My younger sister died at age 66 last year; her husband a year and a half before that; my dearest friend of 45 years three years ago. It feels like anyone close to us dies "too soon," no matter what their age is. What you've posted here reminds us that life is indeed fragile and we do need to celebrate each moment. And yes, we have to have opposition in our lives, for without the grief we can't know the joy. Well said, Conda! (And I am sorry for your losses also.)
Ann

Carol Kilgore said...

Sometimes it's overwhelming when so many sad things happen almost at once. Life is all about balance, though, and the good times come around again. You're so right - celebrate them, seize every wonderful moment and hold it close. I'm so sorry for your losses. I've been there, too.

Enid Wilson said...

I've been sick for about a month and don't have much energy to write. You're right, we should seize the moment.

My Darcy Mutates…

Kathy McIntosh said...

You are so right, Conda. Savoring the joy of friends, of love, of the beauty around us is sometimes hard to do in the "crush" of living. But we are blessed with life and owe it to the universe, to those who gave us life, and to ourselves, to live and enjoy. And to remember those who have passed.

Conda V. Douglas said...

Jennifer--you can't feel one without the other, truly.

Conda V. Douglas said...

Alyssa, first, welcome to my blog. And my sympathies for your lost as well.

My friend, too, was in his fifties and a health nut--he could have lived for decades--but didn't.

Carpe diem.

Conda V. Douglas said...

Ann...it's so true when we lose a loved one it's always too soon. When I lost a friend who was a "grandmother" to me when she was 100 years old, it was too soon.

Conda V. Douglas said...

Carol, if only we could grasp each moment...of course then we'd freeze, wouldn't we?

Conda V. Douglas said...

Enid, get better soon!

Conda V. Douglas said...

Kathy...how lovely your words are.

Helen Ginger said...

Very sorry for the loses you've suffered so recently. It hurts. I know since my sister died a month ago.

But you have a wonderful attitude with a plan to honor those you've lost. I do believe that living a life of joy is the best thing you can do.

Stephen Tremp said...

That Christmas pic is priceless. And I agree, exceeding joy can only be experienced and appreciated if one first endures grief.

Stephen Tremp

SWUBIRD said...

Conda:

Good for you. As we get older, friends and family dying is an unfortunate reminder that we should all cherish the life that we have and the time that we have left. My Queen and I feel the same as as you do, live, live, live! I once asked a friend of mine how to deal with all the stress I was under. At the time, he was a Colonel in the Marine Corp, so I respected his opinion. He calmly said that if no one is shooting at you, the rest is just stuff. Isn't it the truth? If you want to learn how to live life, ask a person who has been pursued by death.

Good luck and remember . . .

Happy trails.

Ann Best said...

You said on my latest post that you've gone "natural" with your hair and you need a new photo. Well, sometimes you can get a "good" picture, that is, in my case, one that doesn't show the wrinkles that are creeping into my face! (lol)

Whatever you come up with, I'm interested!!
Ann

Dave King said...

Memories of mum are very precious. Thanks for the reminder.

Conda V. Douglas said...

Helen, my sympathies and thank you for your kind comments.