Monday, April 2, 2007

Making love to change

Change isn't a person, although it might be easier to deal with if it was! No, change is what we exist in, every day, all day, every moment. Of course, yeah right, simple. And yet, I like everybody else, struggle to accept what is so simple, so real.

Maybe it's because of the feeling of total lack of any control: I can change and affect some things, or so I try to make myself believe, for example, if I don't finish a manuscript and submit it, no way will it get published. It's not magic, I have control of those elements. The "magical thinking" comes into play with: This market will buy it because...writing is subjective and there's no true control once I've done my part.

But so many other parts of life don't even have that piece of "my control." The weather, for example, I'd like it to be nice to take my dog for a walk this afternoon, but it's clouding up and I can't stop that change in the sky.

I do know one thing that helps. The more I release the illusion of controlling change, the more I surrender to change, the happier I am. And the few times I've gone beyond accepting change as inevitable and embracing it for whatever it brings--that's when I've been the most joyous.

And here's a final thought: if we didn't exist in change, wouldn't that be horridly tedious?

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